September 17, 2014,      4 :53     PM

Description: An image of a figure crying on a queen size bed; another figure stands in the doorway. The standing figure is the mother who has delivered the news to her daughter, once-catatonic now-hysteric, sobbing on the bed. She has told her daughter that her childhood friend has taken his life^[ME1].

Figure one: The mother’s daughter. The boy’s friend. The photographer. She had come home to photograph. She had come home to rest. The mother’s then-daughter. The boy’s then-friend. The ex-photographer. She must still photograph, but she cannot move. “Photograph fear.” The water inside her churns. Her body crashes together in waves. She grieves, but believes she is undeserving of her grief. She did not do enough. She should have made more of an effort. Photograph^[ME2] fear.

Description: One image of two children in the yard of a house with a white picket fence. One child with black curls stands and watches the other slide through water. They appear to be happy. They are (still) together.

Figure one: The boy with black curls. He is normally quiet and soft-spoken, but comes alive in the presence of the second figure. She is the only one he is willing to look^[ME3]  directly in the eye.

Figure two: The tomboygirl. Like the boy, she^[ME4]  is naturally shy, but comes out of her shell when with him. The girl gives the boy a red lizard for him to take home, but he leaves it^[ME5]  behind.

Caption: Did you know that would be the only thing I’d have to remember you by years later?

 Description: Two black and white images depicting “fear”

Image one: A figure’s body occupies the majority of the frame. They are bent over, their belly^[ME6] and breasts hanging. Their stretchmarks are illuminated in the bathroom light.

Image two: A figure’s face between locks of hair, looking like black eel ink. They are looking^[ME7] down, hunching and huddling in a tub.

Caption: “Fear.” The photographer’s statement describes their feelings relating to their body^[ME8]. These feelings are true. But as she hangs in the tub, her body suspended over porcelain, she can only think of him.

Description: One image, drowning. The image depicts a figure alone in bed. It is 3 AM.

Figure one^[ME9]: The figure appears to be female. She is fat with dark hair. She is tossing and turning under white sheets. Her mind is racing.

Figure two: A figure has emerged from black emptiness. The figure appears to be male. He is slender^[ME10] with black hair. The figure watches and waits in the darkness until she falls asleep. The figure fades with the morning.

Description: One image, hanging. One image of a limp body; the head has been cropped out of the frame. One dark image, underexposed. In the darkness, a figure^[ME11] lies in bed alone.

Caption: Pain through the middle. Jump. hang. Kick. go. Final. One snap. One motion. Neck snapped. After neck cracking left. Head thud. After. Choking gargling choking. Static. Nausea. Nausea. Pain. Tears build in my eyes. Feet swing, struggle. Clawing at my throat. Throat. Hanging back. Hanging down. Blood floating away. Everything. Fading. Can’t feel limbs. Fingers. Toes. Fading into white. Fading into white. Into white. White. White. White. White^[ME12].

Figure one: The body resembles the figure of the male sleeping with his friend. The body is his body.

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Description: Two screenshots taken from a search engine; two^[ME13] deaths

Caption: Frequently asked questions from the search engine: What are signs from deceased loved ones? How can you reach someone after a death? Can you get closer to someone in death? Can you love again after your partner dies? Can you get closer to someone after^[ME14] death?

Related Searches: When a loved one dies do they visit you? Are the dead still with you? How to stop thinking about someone who died? Are they ok? Are they at peace? Did they suffer? How to get over someone’s death? How to keep making art after what’s happened? Losing someone close to you what do you feel? What to do if forgetting how the dead sound like? How to react to death news? How to say goodbye when you couldn’t? How to comfort someone who keeps losing people? How to comfort someone who is drowning? Does grief change you forever? How do you love a grieving person? How do you love a dead person? Can a dead person still love you back? How to live with^[ME15] regret? How to get over someone’s death? Why didn’t I do more? Why didn’t I try harder^[ME16]? Done what? Said what?             Stop.

Description: Screenshots from The Sims 4

Caption:             [Sad +3]                Mourning         (From Losing a Friend) 20 hours

–  the kind that can only come from the profound grief of death.

Description: One image, hanging. A ratio of three^[ME17] to one, negative space to content, white void to figure. From the upper third of the frame, two feet dangle.

Figure one: The figure is a body. The body hangs until it is found.

Caption: “Don’t let life get you down.” Said to her when he was still alive.

[Friends in a Time of Loss]                   Adoring Sentiment^[ME18]